Why
does it hurt me very much? Can anyone of us ever ask this question in our life?
Mostly we feel hurt but seldom have we questioned why it hurts me. We cry when we are hurt – tears roll down –
at least in our hearts if not in our eyes.
Then, what is next action? No no it’s only reaction. We react telling that we will show them who
we are or else, that we will make them to feel the same pain or at least to the
minimum we will have a grudge, or hatred feeling and that person sits into our
heart and mind a reason to be disturbed.
When
I reflected why it hurts me very much, I realized because there is some
relationship involved in that, there is a kind of love and care involved in
that. If a person who in no way related to me says something or acts
indifferently towards me, I may not act or react or get hurt, because he/she
does not know me. I get hurt when
someone whom I know well and trust so much behaves in a different way as though
he did not understand you… hu… it hurts me very much. The Psalmist too affirms that hurt comes only
by our close friends or relatives or someone whom we love most. He laments, “If
it were a rival insulting me, I could bear with him, if it were a foe in
pursuit of me, I could hide from him.
But it is you, an equal of mine, my bosom friend, my companion whose
fellowship I enjoyed as we walked together in the house of God.” (Psalm
55:13-15) In the relationship it is unavoidable. Do we remember again what King David cries in
the psalms for the bitter hurt by betrayal? "Even my most trusted friend, with whom I shared my food, has
lifted his heel against me." (Psalms
41:9)
It won’t hurt me
when you hurt me without knowing about me, but when you know me well and show
that you understand me, even a little of your word or deed is enough to make a
deep cut into my broken heart. HOW MANY
TIMES? Once, twice, thrice, four times? When you hurt me once it’s by
ignorance, when you hurt me for the second time it might have been by mistake
but when you hurt me more than three times then it’s either your character or
deliberation, whether knowingly or unknowingly.
 |
| The unforgiving servant |
How many times
can I bear that? Mmmm…. I remember St. Peter.
Among all the Apostles St. Peter was a tough man, a short tempered
person, quick to answer and innocent. “Lord,
how many times must I forgive?” was his question. Just before this the Apostles had a
discussion on ‘who is the greatest?’ and Jesus taught them the lesson of
humility to become like children and with this question Jesus will be telling
him about the parable of unforgiving servant.
In any situation the answer of Jesus is simple, “seventy times seven.” Not by literal calculations, these numbers
are indicating perfection or completion in Hebrew culture. Even Jesus himself says in Luke’s Gospel, “Be
careful. If your brother offends you, rebuke him and if he is sorry, forgive
him. And if he offends you seven times
in a day but says to you seven times: ‘I’m sorry,’ forgive him.”
Yes, all these
teachings and preachings are nice but when it comes to the matter of practical
experience it’s hard to do this. Then
what shall I do, If my love is true, it should not keep the record of wrong
(1Cor. 13:6) and “Love overcomes anger and forgets offenses.” (1Cor. 13:5) I am trying hard for that, but still when my
strength fails to do this, to forgive and forget what shall I do? Just follow what the Psalmist says when he
encountered with similar problem, “They return my friendship with slander, and
yet I pray for them.” (Psalm 109:4) Yes,
I can do that and moreover Jesus himself gave a strong reason to forgive
others, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do!” (Luke 23:34)
“If you forgive others their wrongs,
your Father in heaven will also forgive yours.
If you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive you
either.” (Matthew 6:14,15)
