Thursday, October 17, 2013

I CAN'T: I GIVE UP

‘Leave me alone’, ‘I can’t, I am not able to perform well,’ ‘I am not efficient enough to do that,’ ‘I am not perfect,’ ‘so, I give up,’ ‘I quit,’ have you ever said or heard such phrases in your life, study or in your carrier?  Then this may be for you.  This happens in most cases because of comparison.  Comparing yourself with others who have more training, more efficiency and seems to be more perfect.  Sure, it’s not bad to have a higher aim for achievement but you should also consider how they achieved such status.  They have come across many processes.  If you want to achieve higher try to start with what you have, start with what you are. 

On Nov. 18, 1995, Itzhak Perlman, a violinist, came on stage to give a concert at Avery Fisher Hall at Lincoln Center in New York City. He was stricken with polio as a child, and so he has braces on both legs and walks with the aid of two crutches. He walks painfully, yet majestically, until he reaches his chair. Then he sits down, slowly, puts his crutches on the floor, undoes the clasps on his legs, tucks one foot back and extends the other foot forward.  Then he bends down and picks up the violin, puts it under his chin, nods to the conductor and proceeds to play.  By now, the audience is used to this ritual. They sit quietly while he makes his way across the stage to his chair. They remain reverently silent while he undoes the clasps on his legs. They wait until he is ready to play.


But this time, something went wrong. Just as he finished the first few bars, one of the strings on his violin broke. You could hear it snap – it went off like gunfire across the room. There was no mistaking what that sound meant. There was no mistaking what he had to do.  We figured that he would have to get up, put on the clasps again, pick up the crutches and limp his way off stage – to either find another violin or else find another string for this one. But he didn’t. Instead, he waited a moment, closed his eyes and then signaled the conductor to begin again.  The orchestra began, and he played from where he had left off. And he played with such passion and such power and such purity as they had never heard before.  Of course, anyone knows that it is impossible to play a symphonic work with just three strings. You could see him modulating, changing, re-composing the piece in his head. At one point, it sounded like he was de-tuning the strings to get new sounds from them that they had never made before.

When he finished, there was an awesome silence in the room. And then people rose and cheered. There was an extraordinary outburst of applause from every corner of the auditorium. We were all on our feet, screaming and cheering, doing everything we could to show how much we appreciated what he had done.  He smiled, wiped the sweat from this brow, raised his bow to quiet us, and then he said – not boastfully, but in a quiet, pensive, reverent tone – “You know, sometimes it is the artist’s task to find out how much music you can still make with what you have left.”

Here is a man who has prepared all his life to make music on a violin of four strings, who, all of a sudden, in the middle of a concert, finds himself with only three strings; so he makes music with three strings, and the music he made that night with just three strings was more beautiful, more sacred, more memorable, than any that he had ever made before, when he had four strings.  So, perhaps our task in this shaky, fast-changing, bewildering world in which we live is to make ‘music’, at first with all that we have, and then, when that is no longer possible, to make ‘music’ with what we have left.

Effort is of us, Efficiency belong to God.  Performance is of us, Perfection is of God.

It’s not what you are that matters, it’s how you live is what matters.  You may be with lot of inabilities and brokenness, just don’t compare yourself with others.  When you look yourself with others you may look useless.  But you are created for a purpose.  Only God can fulfill the purpose of your life.

A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on an end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the masters house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his masters house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream.


"I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you." "Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?"  "I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your masters house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts." the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the masters house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."

Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again the Pot apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pots side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my masters table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."

Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But if we will allow it, the Lord will use our flaws to grace His Father's table. In Gods great economy, nothing goes to waste. Don't be afraid of your flaws.


Acknowledge them, and you too can be the cause of beauty. Know that in our weakness your strength is made perfect.  (2 Corinthians 12:9)  God does not look at our success but only our effort.  So, live your life fully with what you have.  Have love which brings everything into perfection.

I HATE MYSELF


Many of us even after so much of education and having good job and earn good amount of money have no peace of mind.  Most of the times we are frustrated, tensed, feeling rejected, and troubled in many ways, you know why? It is all because of unforgiveness. You don’t forgive yourself, and so you can’t forgive others.  Love brings peace and joy, hatred brings separation and sadness.  Among all the virtues that which is mostly sought is love and it is the first fruit of the Holy Spirit.  Lack of love = Lack of life.

And now, why do I hate myself? Most of the time it is because of our own inability – ‘I can’t do this’, ‘I can’t do that’, ‘I don’t have this’, and ‘I don’t have that’.  It’s just all about our ‘can’ts’ and ‘don’ts’.  Comparing with others we would like to possess what we don’t have, or what we can’t have.  Or in other words, we are trying to get what is not ours or which does not belong to us.  Yes, of course, there is nothing impossible for us, but that does not mean you have to try everything.  By doing this we really miss even what we have.  We just try to fight the war which is not ours or we fight the fight in which we are not going to win.

God created everyone with certain ability and with certain inability so that we may live with interdependency on others.  I complete you by sharing what I have and which you don’t have.  You complete me by sharing what you have and which I don’t have.  This will happen only when you know who you are and accept what you are.  When we know and accept ourselves then only we will be able to understand and accept others and here we start complementing each other by sharing what we have.

God created each one of us for certain purpose.  Yes, it’s true that we are more tend towards evil but God can make it good if we realize our weakness and surrender to him by seeking his strength. “As God was creating man from the dust the angels tried to stop God making a man in all the way possible. They tried with their all possible ways and means to stop God creating man.  Failing in their effort, they have decided to call for an emergency meeting.  God was invited to convene the meeting.  The every angel started pouring complaints on God on the act of creating man.  Their argument was that angels are pure spirit and the creations are pure matter, and here when God creates man fusing matter with the spirit the man whom he creates will tend to do more evil than good. So, God should stop creating such creature.  After listening to all their complaints and explanations God answered, ‘yea, what all you say is true, but I can change all the evil into good.’

So, don’t hate yourself because you are bad, don’t hurt yourself because you are not the way you want to be.  Don’t get frustrated because you don’t have that and you can’t do this.  Instead all you need to do is just give up.  Give up everything to God.  He will make things right for you.  The battle is not yours, it belong to God.  Why you fight a battle which you cannot win. 

JUST TRUST IN THE LORD ALWAYS.
ACCEPT AND OFFER,
LOVE AND SHARE,
REALIZE AND RECOVER.

THERE IS NOTHING IMPOSSIBLE FOR GOD.

Monday, June 10, 2013

AND THE LIFE EVERLASTING

The last phrase in the creed: ‘and the life everlasting.’  What does it mean?  ‘Everlasting’ means no end.  A life without end; a life after life, is what it means.  As this life will come to an end with our death, the life after that will be ‘everlasting’, without end.  Yep, the life after death will be without end but in what state? With everlasting happiness which we call heaven or the opposite which we call hell!

Many would not believe in the existence of heaven and hell telling that no one has ever seen or experienced that.  And many other would write volumes of books telling the stories of those who had near death experience or death experience, telling that they have seen a bright light, fire, a big dark tunnel then bright light from that in the far and so on.  But still no one knows what it is and how it would be.  On the other hand there are saints, mystics and visionaries who also give us the glimpse of what they have seen.  Even Our Lady of Fathima said to have shown the scene of hell to the children.

Whether we believe it or not we live with the expectation of going to heaven.  The Bible and the teachings of the church affirm that there is heaven and hell.  Those who do good will rise up to live a happy life, and those who do bad will rise up to be condemned. (John 5:29)  This is our faith and hope and that hope motivates us to live a good life.

Here I am going to share with you an account of heavenly vision narrated by one of my friend who is the stigmatist for the past 13 years.  She said that Thrice she had experience visiting heaven and hell and that time she experienced the pain of the soul going out from her own body.  She narrated one such incident in one of the youth retreat so I thought of sharing with you all.  This event occurred on May 1, 2001 on the Feast of St. Joseph the Worker.  At that time her body was lifeless for nearly 8 hours surrounded by her spiritual father and other priests and religious praying together.  She said that St. Joseph took her to heaven and hell.

“I had the pain of my soul departing from my body.  Then I saw St. Joseph, he held my hand and took me with him.  We just flew across the clouds and galaxies.  Each star looked very big, as big as three four house put together.  After crossing many realms we came in front of a marvelous big door which was so high.  As we reached the door opened automatically.  When the door was opened I saw myriads of Angels in groups and in lines with the heavenly silence and with much greater discipline was doing the works which was assigned to them.  The silence was so splendid that even a pin drop could be heard.  No such discipline could never ever found on earth.

As I passed through them with St. Joseph, next I saw the 24 elders praising God as ‘Holy, Holy, Holy’ in a heavenly language.  Though I could not understand that, I was also praising in that language with them, but after that I totally forgot about the language and the word.  Above them I saw the Apostles, who were arguing who was greatest among them were all seated in a single long throne.  Above them were the throne of Mother Mary on the right side and the throne of St. Joseph on the left.  As we reached there St. Joseph left me alone and went and sat on his throne quietly.

As I raised my eyes above these two thrones, I saw the marvelous unexpressive, mighty splendor of Jesus as King and Judge wearing a golden crown embedded with precious stones.  His long robe also designed with precious stones and covered the whole throne as we read in the book of Prophet Isaiah 6.  The place around the throne was all white as snow pierced by the golden beam of light that came from the wounds of Christ.  Even today Jesus shows these wounds to the Father and continues to intercede for us (Heb. 7:25) telling the father, ‘even for them I suffered.’  I have never seen God the Father, but only once I just heard his voice.
When I looked at the sight of Jesus as King and Judge my soul started shivering.  We read and believe that Jesus is so merciful, where sin abounds the grace abounds all the more, and Jesus is rich in mercy and forgiveness, his anger will not last long and so on.  Yes, all these are true, but only as long as we live on this earth.  AS long as we are alive, he is merciful, loving and forgiving, giving us a chance to repent, to turn back to him, even at the last moment – at the hour of our death.  But once we are died, when our soul departed from our body and stand before the throne where I am standing now has to shiver in front of Jesus as just judge.  No one could support us or recommend us, even Mother Mary will just say ‘yes’ to whatever Jesus says. All the intercessions of the saints and Mother Mary are only chances while we live here on earth not after our death.  That’s the reason our mother Church encourages us to pray for the dead especially those who are at the hour of death.  Once we die everything is sealed.

In heaven there was a throne assigned for each one of us, but we will be able to sit in that throne only when the souls given in our care are saved, if not we cannot sit on the throne assigned for us and whenever Jesus sees the empty throne he will cry bitterly it seems.  The souls given in our care could be saved only by our own effort, so we cannot go to heaven alone.

After this St. Joseph took me across the clouds and we came to a very big valley.  He asked me by holding my hand to look down.  As I looked down, I saw mountains of fire melting and running like a river and I could hear the frightening and terrible cry of souls.  Each one is punished according to their deeds.  I also saw a very big and wide road, and many people are walking faster, increasing in number, and St. Joseph explained to me that they are those who fall into the sexual sins of the modern world.”

Actually from hell the heaven will be seen it seems but no one could ever cross and go to heaven.  The fire in hell is the fire of destruction, but the fire in the purgatory is cleansing fire.  Once we go to the purgatory we are sure of going into heaven, but once we enter into hell no hope.  Since after death the souls will not be able to pray they are at the mercy of our prayers.  So let’s pray more for the souls in purgatory especially those who are at their deathbed since that will be their last chance to repent.  Only while we live on this world we are given chances to repent and to turn back to God, so let’s not waste it.

So that was it what she was sharing with the participants of the retreat.  I am sorry that I could not write to you exactly all that she has narrated, with this sharing one thing we can be sure that after this life there is ‘the life everlasting’: heaven.  We have 1000s of chances to repent and to come back to God using his unconditional love and his abounding mercy together with the powerful intercession of Mother Mary and saints.  And also we have to work hard for our own salvation by helping the salvation of the souls entrusted to us.  

LET'S SAVE OUR SOUL 
BY SAVING THE SOULS OF OTHERS.


Sunday, March 31, 2013

WE ARE LOOKING FOR .....

Peace be to you! The Holy become Weak to make the Weak Holy, so it's Holy Week (Holy Weak).

As I was listening to the Palm Sunday Readings, a sentence just caught up my mind and I could not help but to meditate upon that.

"CRUCIFY HIM, RELEASE BARABBAS" (Lk. 23:18)


Sure, we will remember this sentence and we may also remember who said to whom.  The people shouted.  Who are those people? Jews? mmmm... may be... but I think we are also people... just there standing one among them.  Whenever we take side of the evil, we shout, 'Crucify him, release Barabbas.'  I think I need not to explain about this more.  It's not just happened then, but even today it happens, we make it happen.  And we should always remember, about Barabbas the Bible says that he was a murderer, "The father you spring from is the devil and you will carry out the evil wishes of your father, who has been a murderer from the beginning. He didn't uphold the truth for, in him, there is no truth; and now, when he speaks for himself, he lies. He is a liar and the father of lies." (John 8:44)  Whenever we do anything against our neighbor, or against love, or against good, against truth, we side Barabbas and we shout, 'Crucify Him, Release Barabbas.'  We should never forget, when Barabbas is released into our lives what will happen.  I leave the rest for your reflections.

As I was listening to the Good Friday Readings, a sentence just caught up my mind and I could not help but to meditate upon that.

"WHO ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?" - "JESUS THE NAZARENE." (Jn. 18:7)


Sure, if we have the habit of reading the Bible, we may remember the situation of this text.  When the soldiers and chief priests went to arrest Jesus, this dialogue takes place.  That did not happen just two thousands years ago.  Even today 'We are looking for Jesus the Nazarene.'  Where is he? hahahahaha... He is just there, He is here, just in front of us in many ways.  He is within us, but we look everywhere.  Our eyes have been blinded by our misdeeds of anger, hatred, unforgiveness so, we could not see him, we just keep on 'Looking for the Jesus the Nazarene.' Let's check what blinds our eyes from looking Jesus the Nazarene.

And as I was thinking about the passages on the Easter Sunday, a sentence just caught up my mind and I could not help but to meditate upon that.

"WHY LOOK FOR THE LIVING AMONG THE DEAD?" (Lk. 24:5)


If you are not familiar with this passage I will just explain, this was spoken by the angels to the women who went to see the tomb of Jesus on the first day early morning.  "Why look for the Living among the Dead?"  He is a living God and we have to look for him in living persons. Not in any material things, or any other things for that matter. 

Just let's apply this for our life in this modern world.  WE MAKE A WRONG CHOICE, WE LOOK THOUGH IT IS IN FRONT OF US, AND WE LOOK IN THE WRONG PLACE.

Do I need to explain this more?  I leave for your reflection. May the Holy Spirit guide you towards the fullness of Truth and that Truth will set you free.

WISH YOU ALL HAPPY EASTER.


Wednesday, February 27, 2013

FORGIVE THEM; THEY DO NOT KNOW

A REQUEST AND RECOMMENDATION OF JESUS.

          
          One of the difficult thing that we face in our spiritual life is to FORGIVE.  To forgive ourselves and to forgive others.  Why? because we feel deeply wounded, hurt, humiliated, abandoned and cast out.  Even very  thought of some people makes us to boil up with anger.  'Even if I die, I won't forgive that person', or 'whatever the reason you give i will not forgive that person', these and similar other phrases often jumps out from our heart, mind and mouth.  Really one of the hardest thing that we ever feel to do is to FORGIVE.

          WHY CAN'T I FORGIVE OTHERS?  Ask the question again and write down the answers.  In every action, there are two factors involved: one is by mistake and another by purpose.  In other words, it just happened, or unintentional, of deliberately done or intentional.  Most of the time we are unable to forgive because we think that they have done it purposely.  Purposely they hurt us, humiliate us, purposely they wanted to put us down, cast us out.  Always we think that it is done deliberately.  So, we are not able to forgive others for what they have done or said.  Truly this is our misunderstanding. Many of us may not believe this.Even if some one has done something to us purposely truly it is not.  Mmm... it looks absurd, is it not? No, it is not.  Do we remember, 'Even the hairs of your head have been numbered,' (Lk. 12:7)  'not a hair of your head will perish' (Lk. 21:18) 'are you not worth more than a flock of sparrows?' (Lk. 12:7)  If God considers the lilies of the field so much, how much more will he care for us?  when he cares for us so much do we think that when others hurt us, humiliate us, or harm us God did not know all these things?

          Nothing happens in our lives without the knowledge of God.  Still if we remember, we read in the Bible, in the book of Job, that Satan asks permission from God to test Job.  Each time it is granted only certain things to do.  And Satan did not do more than what was allowed for him to do.  So, nothing more will happen to us without the knowledge of God.  Whether it's a hurt, humiliation, or harm, it just comes from God.  we may think that we are blaming God for our mistakes.  Mmm... may be, but for me even that happens for a purpose.  We might have done something wrong because of our wrong choice and by the misuse of our freedom but if we turn back to God, that will become a blessing.  Adam and Eve made a wrong choice, misused their freedom but they did not accept it or turn back to God, but blamed each other, as a result got the curse for all eternity.  Even in that situation the Mercy of God is outstanding.  So, let's always remember that everything comes from God.  If we accept and surrender those things to God surely we will be healed and be able to forgive others.

 
         
 Let's take a concrete example from the life of Jesus.  Tell me the truth, DID JEWS KILLED JESUS BY MISTAKE OR UNINTENTIONALLY?  Do we believe that the crucifixion of Jesus is just happened like that?  No, we know that.  It was intentionally, deliberately, purposely, preplanned murder.  They killed him by asking 'crucify him' which was not the capital punishment of the Jews but of the pagan Romans.  The capital punishment in Jewish custom is stoning to death.  Crucifixion is the way Romans kill the slaves and criminals.  Even among the Romans, if the criminal is a Roman citizen they won't crucify him but behead the criminal and that's why St. Paul as a Roman citizen not crucified to death but beheaded.  Just they wanted to kill Jesus to be so much humiliated even at his death by crucifixion.  So, the death of Jesus is very well planned and executed, right?

          But listen to the prayer of Jesus on the Cross, "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they do." (Lk. 23:34)  What a contradiction? They killed him intentionally, fully planned and He is praying that they do not know what they do. ha... But for sure, it's not contradiction.  They really do not know who really Jesus was.  St. Paul confirms that saying, "No ruler of this world ever knew this; otherwise they would not have crucified the Lord of Glory." (1Cor. 2:8)  And St. Peter in his preaching on the day of Pentecost says the same thing that Jews killed Jesus because of ignorance, without knowing who Jesus was, "Yet I know that you acted out of ignorance, as did your leaders." (Acts 3:17)  So, hope now it's clear that Jesus' prayer to forgive them for their ignorance is not a contradiction even they killed him intentionally. 

          By his exemplary prayer on the Cross, Jesus teaches the simple way how to forgive others.  Interpreting this event Servant of God Bishop Fulton Sheen would say that the only reason Jesus teaches us to forgive others unconditionally is IGNORANCE.  FORGIVE THEM; THEY DO NOT KNOW.  They do not know what they are doing.  Whoever it may be the person and whatever they may do to us, just FORGIVE THEM; THEY DO NOT KNOW.  Yes, they do not know who they are, what they are, as an image of God redeemed by the blood of Christ.  They do not know who you are, what you are, as a child of god created in his own image and likeness and redeemed by Christ.  We may argue, 'No, they did not act in ignorance, they deliberately did it to me.'  Just remember Jesus, neither the Jews did it out of ignorance, they planned and executed, but Jesus still prays for them that they do not know.  If we claim ourselves as true Christians, following Christ, are we not obliged do as Jesus taught us to do?

          The Prayer of Jesus: FORGIVE THEM; THEY DO NOT KNOW, is a Request and at the same time Recommendation.  It is a request when he prays to the Father.  The same prayer when he says to us it becomes a recommendation.  Very clearly Jesus recommended this already when he taught us to pray in the Our Father prayer. 'Forgive us - as we forgive.'  It's obvious.  Further he emphasizes by repeating, "If you forgive others their wrongs, your Father in heaven will also forgive yours.  If you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive you either." (Mt. 6:14-15)  Though Jesus already prayed to the father 'forgive us - as we forgive,' after finishing the prayer Jesus repeats the importance of forgiveness - the only condition to receive forgiveness.  From the Old Testament time this concept remains the same.  In the book of Sirach God the Father asks, "He who demands revenge will suffer the vengeance of the Lord who keeps a strict account of his sins. Forgive the mistakes of your neighbor and you may ask that your sins be forgiven. If a man bears resentment against another, how can he ask God for healing? If he has no compassion on others, how can he pray for forgiveness for his sins? As long as he, mere flesh, is resentful, who will obtain his pardon?" (Sirach 28:1-5)  Further it says, "Remember your end and give up the hatred"  For any other things there is no condition, but for forgiveness there is condition. FORGIVE TO BE FORGIVEN.

Pope John Paul II visits the prison and forgives the one who shot him
Pope Benedict XVI visits his butler who leaked his confidential letters
          Let's forgive for they do not know, let's forgive that our sins may be forgiven.  As I heard from the Recollection talk of Fr. Jesus M. OAD, by forgiving we do more good to ourselves than anyone else.  By anger, hatred, resentment and unforgiveness, physically, psychologically and spiritually we bring more harm to ourselves than anyone else hurt, humiliate and harm us.  None of us ever experienced more hurt, humiliation and cruelty than Jesus Himself.  We have two great examples before us, Pope John Paul II, and Pope Benedict XVI.  They have forgiven their traitor and shooter.  Are we much more holy and greater than these people?

"I will forgive their sins and no longer remember their wrongs." (Hebrews 8:12) 
"As the Lord has forgiven you, forgive one another. (Colossians 3:13)


Tuesday, February 26, 2013

LOVE WITHOUT HURT

        It's not so easy to love others as Jesus loves us. If we do like that, then there won't be hurt for whatever the reason.  Some say love does not hurt, others say love hurts.  TRUE LOVE which proceeds from the love of Christ never hurts, but heals, comforts, consoles, guides, protects, etc.  But human love hurts, breaks our heart, feelings, emotions, sometimes tears apart and even kills.  How do we understand the different between these two.  There can be many differences.  Divine Love demands sacrifice from oneself, but human love demands sacrifice from others.  To say in other words, Divine Love love always gives, and human love always gets.  Divine Love respects, human love expects.

        When we love with expectation that makes us to be attached with someone whom we love and makes us to be dependent on that person.  As we know, practically, experiencially no human can fulfill the desires or expectations of other as they want it to be.  Because every human love is self seeking by nature.  Most human love proceeds with self interest, seeking some benefits from others.  You may agree or may not agree but honestly if you analyze your love for others you will find whether your love for others is Divine Love or human love.  divine love will not lament over the separation of the loved ones, because Divine Love never gets separated.  But human love gets hurts, and laments over the separation of the others because with the lose of that person it loses something what it expected, it can be physical, material or emotional.

        Then, how to love others with this Divine Love?  Is that so difficult? No, not at all.  It seems to be difficult but it's not so difficult, because Jesus made it easy for us by giving an example in loving others as God loves us. He said and lived, "There is no greater love than this, to give one's life for one's friends" (John 15:13).  Divine Love will be always ready to die for others.  Hu... that's not so easy, right?  How can we die for others, especially when they are strangers? So, it's difficult to achieve this Divine Love, is it not? No, it is not.  To understand the simplified version of Divine Love we need to follow the Golden Rule, "Do to others as you would have others do to you." (Luke 6:31)  It's just as simple as that.  When we like others to love us, we take the first step to love them, when we want others to understand us, first we try to understand them.  If we don't want others to humiliate us or scold us, let us not do that to others.  If we want others to help us when we are in need, let us do it first for others.  The important thing is that we need to do all these things without any kind of expectations.

        We do all these things not because of the people but because of God, we love God so we do all these things as he asked us to do.   We help someone not because they will help us back, but because God has said that whatever we do to the least of these children, we did it to him. (Matthew 25:40) We love someone not because they will love us back but because God loves us and asks us to do the same, "Love one another as I have loved you" (John 13:34).  We accept, respect, forgive, forget not because that we expect anything from others, but because we love God and he asks us to be like him and nothing else.  We try to love everyone with the love of God.  And that love is, "Love is patient, kind, without envy. It is not boastful or arrogant. It is not ill-mannered nor does it seek its own interest. Love overcomes anger and forgets offenses.  It does not take delight in wrong, but rejoices in truth.  Love excuses everything, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love will never end." (1Corinthians 13:4-8)

        Now, when we start loving others as Jesus loves us, he will bring many people, even the people whom we never expected, into our friendship; that time we should be careful that we don't attach any expectations with it.  If we try to have any expectation then we will fall back into hurt, break up and frustration.  When we love with the love of the Lord, we need not to expect anything, because we will not have anything in need because everything will be taken care off even before we think about them.  So, there won't be any expectations, attachments and so no hurts.  So, now you can LOVE WITHOUT HURTS.

"I have just given you an example that as I have done, you also may do." (John 13:15)  

Let us not forget that whatever we give up or lose for the sake of God will never be a loss, but will always come back to us in manifold.  "It is in giving that we receive." (St. Francis of Assisi)

May the love of God speak with  us, fill us, heal us, comfort us, guide us in ways that are level and smooth.  "My love to all in Christ Jesus." (1Corinthians 16:24)